I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
