i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
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His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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