u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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