Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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