I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
