I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
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