i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
