There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
