The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
