i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
