my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
