the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
