Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
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All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
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he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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