please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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