So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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