you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
