BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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