So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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