I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
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Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
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Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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