Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
