so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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