This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
