pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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