i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just had sex bonerless
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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