I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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