I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Michael Bay diarrhea
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
