You're completely useless in the revolution.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
