just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
