You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
