he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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