It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
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Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
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I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize