Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
