I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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