I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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