were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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