We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
