OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
