you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
