Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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