that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
