I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
