You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Pants are for mortals
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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