My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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