I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
