His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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