Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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