how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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