i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
