i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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