Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
