Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
