It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
