Dual....:-)
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
my being single is dangerous.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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