How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
