i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
