Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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