...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
