I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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