she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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