On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
