I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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