I want to make a zoo with you.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
