I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
