I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
