they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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